Tag Archives: boyfriend

Why Facebook Is Not Helping My Anxiety

Look people, the reality is, whether you like it or not, Facebook is officially a part of your life.  Whether you have a page or don’t (and chances are  good you do- according to digitalbuzzblog.com, about a year ago, 1 in 13 people on EARTH had a Facebook… on EARTH), you’re making decisions based on Facebook, or because of Facebook, every day.

Every time you meet someone, what’s the first thing you do?  Check and see if they have a Facebook.  Let’s be honest, if they don’t, we assume there must be something wrong with them.  If they do, we first cross our fingers and wish on every star that their privacy settings aren’t so severe that we can’t even see their profile pictures without ‘friending’ them.  If we come across something strange, we DO judge.  Even though in most cases (but definitely not all, I’ve stalked people I’ve never met before), Facebook is like a second impression, it’s become just as important as the first, if not more important.

Recently, I started seriously dating someone.

I don’t think I need to even explain the relevance of this situation here in relation to Facebook, but for the sake of this blog, I will.  One of the most important parts of anyone’s profiles, is their “relationship status”.  If you saw the movie based off of the true story of the beginning of Facebook, “The Social Network”, you would know that this was the final addition to the website that Mark Zuckerberg added before making it public.  The relationship status is the cause of pain and suffering, jealousy, numerous arguments, and serious dilemmas. Which brings me to my current situation.

My last relationship I kept off of Facebook.  Obviously, this was wise because it didn’t end up working out.  It always seemed so obnoxious to me.  Why does every single one of my far and distant friends, including, but not limited to, the guy I met at a bar one time a year and a half ago, my sister’s best friend’s little brother, my great Aunt Susan twice removed, and every single person I ever spoke to in any one of my classes from undergrad- actually I take that back, it doesn’t really matter if I spoke to them or not- NEED to know about my relationship change?  And why go through the potential embarrassment of dealing with your break up being broadcast to hundreds, if not thousands of people, who are guaranteed to make comments like “I didn’t see that one coming”, “you must be really upset”, “you’re better off without him gf!”, and “I’d love to take you out for dinner…”

That being said, my new boyfriend is someone I’ve known for a while, and we have a lot of mutual friends.  Currently, I live in New York City, and he lives in Buffalo, so I don’t get to see or talk to our friends very often.  Thus, I have been debating making the relationship “Facebook official” (this is a very real phrase- you may have heard it in the sentence: ‘It’s not official, until it’s Facebook official’), and I’m not lying when I say it has been causing me a great deal of anxiety the last few days.  Granted, I am pretty neurotic.

Still, I know I am not alone in this.  My roommate is from Italy, where her significant other also resides.  Being “Facebook official” has been the subject of their arguments for the last two weeks.  No lie, it actually caused him to delete his Facebook page for a few days.

This past Saturday, my sister got married.  Approximately 8 hours after saying “I do”, her last name on Facebook was changed and she went from being engaged to married.  8 hours.  Meaning on her actual wedding day, she found the time, rather, she made the time, to go on Facebook and make these changes.  And she’s not alone in this.  I’ve found this to be the case for all of my friends who have recently tied the knot.  Often in even less time than that.

Relationship statuses are just the beginning of how Facebook affects our daily lives.  I could go on for days. What’s your opinion on the matter?  Are you for or against the relationship status?

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